(This is, unfortunately, a true story.)
Special thanks to Sarah and Abby Johnson.
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(This is, unfortunately, a true story.)
Special thanks to Sarah and Abby Johnson.
Nursery Rhymes for Slow Adults 
oh. my. I’m working on a squirrel story, too, but mine is, um, different than this one. This does remind me of the time my cousin and I tried to kill butterflies by putting them in a jar with cotton balls soaked in . . . something (?) It took an excruciatingly long time. we felt like assassins when it was all over.
Yes, this story is gruesome indeed. It is a favorite with my friends, as it happened to someone’s older sister. I am looking forward to your story!
Twist! I have to admit I wasn’t expecting the face-clawing. Once my grandmother got one of those Have-a-Heart traps and caught squirrels that were eating the birdseed from her feeder. But the squirrels were annoyingly still alive, so she dunked the traps into buckets of water. Problem solved. I think things were different growing up on a farm.
Oh, also: I totally own that pair of glasses from Pizza Hut’s promotion for Back to the Future Part II
I cannot believe that you recognize the sunglasses. Major, serious, like-for-real kudos.
Also, we usually drowned animals, but this was my best friend’s sister, and I’m still unclear why, in rural Michigan, this was their A-game for killing.