Cribs featuring DJ Diabeats

It turns out MC Orthodachs has connections at MTV and he convinced them to do a Cribs about DJ Diabeats. This episode was filmed in May 2007, but never aired.

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Whatzzz up, bitches?! Yeah, you know it. I’m DJ Diabeats. LOYALTY. Welcome to MTV Cribs. Come check out my house!

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I’ve lived in this house my whole fuckin’ life. My parents bought it back in da day for like 10 cents. They thought it was a Frank Lloyd Wright house. Turns out dem bitches was wrong. It’s a Chauncey “Chaz” Wright house. That’s Frank Lloyd Wright’s younger fuckin’ half brother and this house is a rip off. But it is still a motherfucking landmark!

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C’mon in, bitches!

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This shit is a HISTORIC landmark, yo. So we can’t change a fucking thing. It’s gotta stay the exact fucking same as it ever ever was. We ain’t tryin’ to front like we got style.

Alright alright! This is where the magic happens!

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You fucks always wanna see in a player’s closet. Here. And fucking Orthodachs is napping, that lazy sonofabitch. This is where I keep my swag — right in this spot right here. Whatchu know about that? LOYALTY.

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Nah, we don’t go upstairs and it ain’t because I’m a fat fuck. We turned that shit over to the ‘coons years ago. It’s their fucking space now. And they’re mean as shit, those raccoons. One bit a female I brung here once. Gave her rabies.

Fuck you, raccoons!

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I ain’t no fool. I know you bitches wanna see my fridge. Joke’s on you fucks, ’cause we don’t keep no good food in there. My mom collects animals to sell on eBay and the fridge be full of that shit. Nah, it’s sanitary, don’t worry.

You know how much you can get for a cat skin on eBay? Fucking check that shit out!

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This here’s my sister, Candee. She’s alright, but watch out ’cause she likes to grind up on strangers. You never know with that bitch.

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Yeah yeah, of course ya gotta see a gangsta’s ride. You fucks know I drive a rascal. I get around, mothafuckas!

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Maybe y’all can come back for my block party that we gots to have. This house is motherfucking condemned and we gotta raise the scratch to save it. Chaz Wright can suck a bag ‘a dicks.

I’ma spin you cock muppets out with some fuckin’ beats! Get on that mic, Orthodachs!

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Buh-bye!

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Wake Up Late

A note before reading:

Hi everyone! Eleanor here. What you are about to see are illustrations inspired by some of the lyrics of a song titled, “Wake Up Late,” which is written and performed by Dragon Boy Suede AKA Howard Kremer. It can be found on Kremer’s new album, “Douche Minutiae.” I highly encourage you to buy the album and listen to the song before (while!) you look at this post. The song, and the entire album, is straight up hilarious genius.

I’ve been a fan of Kremer’s for a long time and I am a regular listener to the podcast he hosts with Kulap Vilaysack, called Who Charted? In fact, the name of this blog (Nursery Rhymes for Slow Adults) is directly inspired by their podcast.

So! Please check out Dragon Boy Suede aka Howard Kremer and Who Charted? I can’t give him and this podcast a more wholehearted, ringing endorsement.

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Madison Alexis’s Recipe Korner! Fudge!!!!! ♥ ♥

OmG!!!!! Hi Everybody!!! It’s your girl, Madison Alexis! Is errryone out there as Excited About spring as I am?!?!?!?! HELLO flip flops!!!!

I am Back to share some amazeballs Recipes with U! Today I have like the best fudge Recipe eva. It is soooooooooooo easy and I Bet U have all These ingredients in UR Kitchen!! Make It And let me Know What U think!! K??

xoxoxoxoxox

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Recipe adapted from: http://herpretty.com/2012/06/recipe-velveeta-peanut-butter-fudge/